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måndag 27 mars 2017

Springtime - a hope for brighter days!!!!

Yes, they are blue, a bit halfclosed when the sun has gone. Soon this little spot will also be covered in white and I'm not talking snow here!!!!

When we take our walk after sunset, the toads and froggies go walking too. This one had in his mind to be disguised, so he covered up with some nice pine needles. We had no difficulties spotting him any way and it really annoyed him.  

This is Baa, eventually renamed Charlie, because that is a name for both genders and Baa had no intention of letting us look under the skirt. He/she was born with a dry mother, no milk today so the father decided to make an end of him. Our neighbours couldn't stand the thought so now he lives in the kitchen until he is strong enough to join the other sheep again. He has the cutest "baaaaaaaa!!" 

A field full of croci, that is really something!!! In my last post I gave you cows as well.

There is something challenging about springtime. Life as it turns out right now, through the news, is  really dark and gruesome.  There seem to be no end of the suffering, the death, the destruction and the famish. And also I never could understand the unbelievable rate of injustice and corruption that lives on in so called civilized countries. The valuation of human lifes is fearfully low and I don't speak only of IS and other terrorist groups. I also speak of trafficking, childabuse, underpayed workers to benefit our lifestyle, I speak of undermining natures resources to optain ever higher standards in the richer world.
So much we take for granted and have no idea of the cost for others. Heron arose the topic on the darker side of mobile and computer industries.  We can't prevent progress but we can redirect it so that more can benefit in a smaller scale, to make the impact on people and nature more sustainable.
In all this, life plunges in. Easter will remind us of the strenght that lies in the resurrection,
there is no way we can turn everything right on our own. Mankind is strong, yes, love is a strong power, yes, but our efforts through time has not been very successful.  Why do we fail? Why don't we learn?  Well, because mankind is not the highest standard, the values we hold high are good and grand, but they can't fight the core of the darkness and evil. For some time yes, and we must keep fighting, but in us all lies darkness, and given free spin, it will do us harm.
 I am a christian, and I believe that I can only be free to fight for love and kindness if I can myself be forgiven, loved and saved.  If I know that life is stronger than death because God wants it, if I believe Evil can and will be totally defeated because God acted, if I am certain that I never walk alone and that someone knows my name and will keep my soul safe, then I can cope with the pain and struggle my life is right now causing me. I won't stop crying and I won't stop caring.  I will be scared and downhearted, I will try to fend for those who lack strenght. I will fail, I will fall, but I will never totally loose hope.
All because of everything that Easter and the glowing, burning and promising spring will tell me!!
I believe that God loves all people and so I can't be the judge of anyone.  The pain of a loss or an injury or an injustice or famine or abuse is the same whether you are sikh, jew, muslim, buddhist, christian, hindhu or non believer.  Mistakes and great acts of kindness takes place in us all.  And we have to take our responsibility. We often do.
Evil is no physiological thing, nothing that can be blamed on  mental illness or handicap, nothing to do with origin, race, gender or religious beliefs.  Anyone can suddenly step right into it, acting in a way that hurts someone else. It's simply human, yes, but it keeps the inbalance going.  Easter tells me that it's not hopeless, if we had to turn it away by our own force, we would not succeed but we are not alone, that is my belief.
You don't have to agree, this is my faith, what I live for, hope for, rest in, take comfort and strenght from and rely on.
When people now and then start to mock and abuse my faith, I tell them that they may think it silly, oldfashioned and of no interest to anyone, but its still the foundation of my life. but hasn't always been. I gave God an opening, and he plunged in. One day, I will tell you the entire story, but not today.
I wish you all a very blessed, bright and lovely spring, as far as it goes right now!!!! Tomorrow I will meet up with some colleagues for a retreat, right now I really need it!!!
A walk when the sun is setting and the air is still clear and almost warm! The beloved child leads the way through the forest!! Our glorious 14-year old!!

söndag 19 mars 2017

The green pastures

Good evening!
You should see it covered in ice!!
As I am watching the news tonight my mind is a bit bewildered. We have a problem it seems, Swedish authorities find it hard to treat homecoming terrorists in a proper way. Well, why am I not surprised??? We are used to dealing with healthcare that fails, daycarecentres that needs repainting, roads that needs to be mended, the issue of grocerystores or pizzashops in the vacant facilities. But we have no experience of young men coming home from Syria, having served with the IS.  How to treat them, cure them, handle their misbehaviour.

Apart from this very important issue, today was a good day for a walk on the mountain. A beef stew was cooking in the oven, the birds were singing,  many were out to look for flowers and signs of spring.
I took a walk yesterday as well, while visiting a friend some miles away!!

Our small mountain , going down!!  We went up to the top and sat down for a while.  In absolute silence, one solitary crane came gliding right over our heads. One! In a month they will be gathered in thousands!!

Treetrunks. Sturdy, beautiful in every season!!

Along the trails on our mountain cows, sheep and goats also walk. Today, however, cows and calfs have a nice rest in the green pastures. Not so much to eat as yet, the farmer provides what they need until the meadows are covered with goodies!!!

This walk today and some serious thinking about todays gospel and what matters in this world and in my own life, have cleared my mind. We are having some very heavy burdens right now, but so have many more. Since I started to blog, I have come to know and appreciate many bloggers around the world. Some of them are having a hard time right now, and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
Now I hope that springtime will bring light and hope to many. The state of the world is alarming, so much to be done. But so much is actually BEING done, so many brave and caring people working round the clock to rescue and encourage.  Evil is always present, but good is the stronger opponent.  Jesus speaks of the truth being the key to the chains holding us.  Once every crime and every hurting action against a fellow human being will be confessed and reconciled , evil will fade and die, loosing it's purpose. I spoke of monsters yesterday, I realized that was a bit confusing but I used the term only as a metaphor.
Lent and easter have lost most of it's deeper values in society, leaving only candy eggs, yellow tablecloths and porceline chickens.  That is of no importance really, it's not in our hands anyway, Easter will live it's own life!!! 

lördag 18 mars 2017

React, repent, return, ressurect

In war, they say, there are no winners. No, that is probably very true.
I have no experience of war, except for those we fight among ourselves on daily bases. The domestic little wars have casualties as well, that's for sure. 
I know and you know that keeping peace in the family and close by is one of the most important things we have to tend to. It should be easy enough, but never is.  Love your enemies, Jesus tells us, to set the standards right. There is no greatness in doing good for those you already love and care for.  Still we can't do even that from time to time. That is why we need the blessings of grace.
For your benefit, here is the water of the river, released from it's icy shroud and preparing for springtime , salmonfishing and the beautiful view of the King Fisher.

This weekend, not even gone yet, have been filled with disasters and miracles, all at the same time and spot it seems.
Some taken place close, some bringing pain to others. I do get tired sometimes, wish I could do more. But sometimes, we have to take a break, praying, reading, walking,watching movies, yes.
We went to the Filmstudio on thursday to see Almodovars "Julieta".  Issues of guilt, repentence and reconcilliation, splendid filming, good portraits. My first Almodovar-film- 

Friday, tossed right into the sparkling and highpitched world of Disney, we had promised the girls to go and see" Beauty and the Beast" with Emma Watson as Belle and Emma Thompson, disguised as a tea pot.... The miracle in this is that our youngest have been feeling very bad for a long time, not wanting to go outside the house even. Missed several films she wanted to see .
And a lot more, as you can understand.
But now she actually came along!!!! She brought a good friend along, as did the oldest one and as did we. 
In this story , it's hard to know who is the monster. Who is different and who is normal and what is normal?  Is it okey to be a monster as long as you don't harm anyone or are you no longer a monster when the urge to harm fades away?? 
In some cases, people that really appears to be prince Charming actually turn into monsters, never to be reversed?
But when love returns to the monster, loving and sacrificing, the monsters gets a chance to repent. 
Or maybe I can just rest in the joy of the film, the music, the colours, the animations and the acting.  It has been a great fuzz about Disneys Gay-moments, well, someone else will have to tell me whether those moments were valid or not. Or just plain Disney glamorous?

Finally, this evening, we opened the film that has been calling from the shelf for some time now " The eye in the sky" with Helen Mirren and Alan Rickman.  Brilliantly played and horrifying. How can we turn this lunacy?? How can a war become calculated risks?  Has that always been the case, how great risks we are prepared to take to win the war?
The warlords of the centuries has altered between joining in side by side, and keeping a safe distance, calculating with other mens life. The tale of two cities comes to mind, with the sacrifice of one for the sake of many. The gospel comes to mind.
God made his calculations and took the decision of being the casualty AND the winner.  But he chose not to be at safe distance.  In this film, the option is attack with the help of drones and autopiloted missiles. The obsticle is a small child, selling bred outside the targetarea. How many percent risk is too high not to send the missile off? On a safe distance the discussion is on, political, calculated, lawyers, ministers, generals and attackpilots. The giant monitors that displays every horrible detail, the two inside the house, being dressed up with bomb belts, the girl in the street, people in the market.

War is fought every second somewhere in the world. Trump calls for stronger defence budget, Northern Korea is sending missiles, Rakka is under siege, terror is threatening every airport, every tourist event, anytime, massacre upon massacre.
Who is the beast? Who is the monster?  Is there something less frightening in the calculated attack with low percentage of casualties? More humane? I can't judge those who try to defend people, try to fight evil in it's most horrible sense.
But I can react, and think that the only thing I really can do, is to keep peace where I am and return again and again to repent and be reassured that grace is holding, God didn't keep the distance, he dies with every calculated casualty and weeps with every devastated parent.  Evil won't prevail, monsters will eventually meet the sacrificing love and there will be no more tears.  When I hurt someone, even if I don't mean to, I become the monster.  When I stop reacting to what is going on around us, it's just as bad.  When ressurection day is at hand, the pain will leave us.  But until that day we must react, return and repent so that grace can be visible through us, right where we are.  And pray for those who have to make these horrible decisions, every day.....
Yes, what a weekend this has been, and it's not gone yet!
But thank you Lord, for the miracles shining through the disasters!!!

tisdag 14 mars 2017

Welcome next door!!!

This somewhat chilly tuesday I invite you next door, to read about my schooldays, the second part of that thrilling story!!! In my other blog - Novels and true stories.  Welcome!!!

måndag 6 mars 2017

Slipping through my fingers - she's 18!!


Yesterday our firstborn came of age - 18!!
It used to be 21. Strange since many started to work at 15....
Now she can vote, order wine but not buy it....take her drivers license and pay her own bills!!!
Her room is still a lumberyard, but now it has a new sofa, carpet and lamp.

Moviecake- Potter, LOTR and Star Wars

We celebrated her one day in advance with a surprise party in our local chapel, it has several good rooms besides the churchpart, good kitchen facilities and she likes it. Instead of our small family of 6 she got 20 guests. Some she hadn't seen for quite a while. She came in last and everyone was in place. As the guests arrived they got a questioncard with questions about favourite directors, books, songs, how she got the scar on her forehead, name of her teddybear, islands she has seen and things she loads to do. Important stuff. They were put to the test one by one during the party.   We had a musical game as well and lots of food. The cake I made to illustrate some of her favourite films. The faces on the cake belongs to Chewbacca, if you wondered.

She arrived with her behind first, awkvard little person, don't try that at home!
Now she collects information from the universities and highschools.
Best gift?
A Nikon camera. ( No, they didn't pay me for writing that)   Oh, and jewellry. And more jewellry.    And a Star Wars lamp and bobblehead of Princess Leia. And a pillow with motives from Big Bang Theory.....

An amazing scrapbook from her best friend!
We made decorations with old pics hanging all over the place but that scrapbook was totally heartbreaking and wonderful!!!  When everyone had left and we had swiped and cleaned and finished the dishes we took one leftover good friend home to watch the Second chance competition before the finals of the Swedish Melody festival. We almost got another year with Loreen but something happend and we are still not sure if we will send 87 year old Owe the great!!!  

Well, watching your children grow and get more independent is something most of you already have gone through and many of you also know the feeling of grandchildren.. we will catch up eventually, getting older by the minute. But the good Lord gave us two beautiful girls and hopefully he will keep us bright and shining for as long as they need us.  Scary thing this parenthood, you are not even half grown yourself and sometimes they have the answers and I stand corrected. Only thing we can hope for is that we have given them enough love and security to last the turmoils and backlashes that will come their way. Prayers and good wishes will follow. Next year she will graduate and you are going to hear my whining through the screen but also our joy. The whining will come from the expences of: balldress, examsdress, hairdresser, coach or sportscar for the transport home, graduationhat, reception and gifts, food and drink, limo for the ball, no, let's leave that.  
Now she is 18 and it's quite enough for the parents to handle!!! And we are still eating the cake...........